Are SEX SCHOOLS!
I’ve been batting this idea around in my head for awhile now, knowing I want to write about it, but also knowing I had to think of something better than teaching sex in school, although that would not hurt either. Starting teaching children about sex cannot start too young, and done in an honest way, grade by grade, would give the next generation something we do not have now, healthy knowledge about sex.
My motivation for writing about this presently “taboo” subject is in the answer to the question “How many people’s lives are ruined EVERY DAY by an unhealthy introduction to the realities of sex?” When young children are sexually abused, they have no idea it is wrong, and they should tell someone about it. They believe the abuser when he or she tells them not to say anything to anybody or bad things will happen. These children need to know what is happening is wrong, and that they need to tell someone about it, especially if the abuser is a family member. Silence, despite the threats, is by far the worst reaction.
Older children and young teenagers need to know there are right ways to have sex, and a whole number of wrong ways. Boys and girls both need this knowledge. But what they do not need is to be told sex is dirty, or wrong before marriage, or any of the other puritan teachings that pervade our societies today. Sex is a beautiful thing, whether you are married or not. To deny it when your feelings are strongly in favour of it is affecting your whole being, physically, mentally, and spiritually. But knowing about sex is just one part of the equation–these young people also need to know how to have sex so they don’t get hurt, or pregnant! Not knowing how to have sex can hurt a person just as much as denying it.
Older teenagers and even adults can also be affected in myriad ways if they don’t know what they are dealing with, or doing. They need to know how to have sex as much as anyone else. Bad sexual experiences can damage the psyche, and lead to rape, sexual assaults, and even murder. Sex is something everyone wants, and mostly needs. But if you don’t know what you are doing, you are risking your future.
Why should we have sex schools? Sexual crimes are not like other crimes. They are intimately connected to who a person is, and who a person wants to be. And, sexual crimes are so prevalent in our society it is very apparent we as a society are doing something wrong. Like parenting does not come with a manual, neither does sex. Especially when the latter can lead to the former and wreck many people’s lives, we need to protect ourselves against that. Sex schools are but one answer. Until something better comes along, I will advocate for sex schools.
There is a lot more to be said on this subject, but I would like to hear people’s thoughts on this opening of the topic. Yea, nay, or otherwise, all comments are welcome.
A New Spirituality 
Replying from my smapid phone. The 1st problem I see is the professionals who would be put in charge. What would be the agenda of such individuals? I wouldn’t trust any professional to teach ‘sex’ to my kids. Period.
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Obviously the “teachers” would have to be vetted professionals, not just any joe or joan blow off the streets. But that part comes later. What do you think of the idea of being taught the basics of how to make love to a partner? (See my reply to Jim below.)
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I know you mean well but I think Jim has the better idea. Have classes on sex (and other) predation issues. Teach how to recognize a predator and perhaps have a “safe” place/person to listen to kids’ questions and concerns, etc. As for “The Joy of Sex” – just read the book, eh? Maybe Alex could write and illustrate a kiddie version… using rabbits instead of people (Yes, I’m being facetious!) Parents are the ones who should be teaching their kids about sex and if they can’t well, society as we know it is fucked anyway…
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For the sex school I am not talking about the young children, but starting from older children and on, age appropriate, right up to adults, who are the most numerous sex offenders, the whole idea is to stop people from becoming offenders. Less offenders, less traumatized victims. I know rape is not only about sex, but it would not be rape if sex was not a component. People who have themselves been victimized, people who constantly lose at sex, people who see themselves as rotten lovers, these are the people who make up the majority of sex offenders. Add to them the entitled males, and you have a large population of potential offenders, almost all of whom can be deterred or possibly even stopped.
If you only want to look at the small picture, open sex education will do some good. But it will mostly be after the fact–too late to stop abuse from happening. Look at the big picture, stopping abuse before it happens–IMO our society will be a lot better off.
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I do think forthright awareness of what abuse is and how predators may condition, or what they may say to keep them quiet would be in order. Teaching them what is a predator and how they operate is a good idea. Learning how to have sex is part of the adventure, so I’d say no to that one. It’s like teaching natural child birth. Wtf is that all about?
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I know a lot of people, especially those who have only one partner in their lives, who really know very little about having sex. Some have never heard of foreplay, others have heard of it but don’t know what it is. Other points, like the clitoris, or the g-spot, never make it into aq conversation. I’d venture to guess a good 50% of the people in this world don’t know what makes them feel good, or don’t know how to tell that to their partners. There is a lot of “Wham, bam, thank you mam” in this world, and that makes for a lot of unhappy people. Remember, I am just making a suggestion here, for now. My real aim is to cut down on sex crimes, and I really think this could work towards that goal. Thank you for commenting.
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I read sometime last year ( if I can find the link I would post it ) about a school that is doing something similar to what you are suggesting, though it’s not without opposition
I have read countless times about children who have been sexually abused by their family members and teachers who didn’t realize what was happening was wrong
In some cases, the abusers made no threats, they just convinced the victims that what was happening was normal
I am with you on this. But how would this get approval
A couple of years back, just after I had left high school, I came across an article where the author was calling for the removal of the teaching of the reproductive system from the biology text books used and the biology curriculum. The biology text books I used were named among the “bad texts” and I found nothing wrong with them
Many fail to realize that the current alternative to a well thought out sex education curriculum is pornography
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Thanks, Jonathan, that’s a point I forgot all about. But porn is big business with a virtual monopoly, it would not like opposition.
As for removing the reproductive system from school texts, that would move us backward a hundred years or more. That is one of the most ridiculous moves I could imagine. I do not understand what is wrong with some people. I guess they like to kick their daughters out of their families for getting pregnant before marriage, which is something that happens too often already.
I just don’t understand…
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I agree that more open conversation and teaching are appropriate, though I’m not sure a “sex school” is the answer. Nor do I think it will drastically reduce sex crimes, at least among adult populations. Here’s why…
Most abused children, I would guess, know that something “isn’t right” in their abuse. It doesn’t feel good. It hurts. And the secrecy surrounding the act is a red flag; “don’t tell” is the first layer of lying we learn as children…
Second, teaching everybody the “proper” way to have sex could very well create new “norms” by which every adult must measure their success. As in, if you don’t have enough foreplay, or the proper technique, or your partner doesn’t achieve orgasm in a timely fashion, you must be doing something “wrong.” Truth is (in my opinion) intimacy isn’t about the physical act so much as it is about the connection (physically expressed emotional union), and that simply can’t be taught. Though I agree that we need more open education about boundaries, safety, and potential consequences of impulsive sexual activity. We need to develop norms that include “mindfulness” regardless of technique or partner…
Finally, about rape. I spent a great deal of time talking to my last rapist about the experience (he had been my best friend), and I learned a lot from him. Most importantly I learned that he KNEW he was raping me, but he was convinced if he pressed on, I would enjoy it so much, it would no longer feel like rape. Moreover, I learned he employed such tactics frequently. He clearly did not lack sexual confidence! But all of that is beside the point…
Rape is about power. It’s about forcing one’s will upon another, while humiliating them. It’s about forcing them to submit, regardless of gender. It involves the sexual act because that is when the victim feels most vulnerable. A “powerless” person (male or female) will likely recover from a physical beating, and may, if properly healing and motivated, enact new ways of thinking to feel more empowered in the future. But the sexual violation never truly goes away, because we are stripped bare of all emotional, spiritual and physical protections at the whim of someone else. You do not forget that feeling, ever, though you can certainly learn to get on with your life without becoming a perpetual victim.
I simply don’t see how a sex school will alter these experiences. But I do agree that the puritanical grip needs to lessen, that we need to develop cultural morays that are more inclusive and expressive, that we need education on “safe” sex, that we need education on consent and boundary setting/respecting, and that we need to stop blaming victims of sex abuse and declaring their complicity by making it about the sex part rather than the abuse…
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Hi Lisa, and thank you for a great comment.
I guess when I suggest sex schools, maybe I didn’t say it, but it was in the back of my mind, such schools would not be just abot the sex act (really that would be a lesser part of the cirriculum), it would be more about all the background as well as the foreground. Sex is a major part of life, and what most people know they picked up off the streets as children and teenagers. This is not a healthy learning atmosphere when it comes to sex. I remember some of the things I learned, and if you will pardon the words, “Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed!” and “Just say ‘I love you’ and the legs will open wide.” Those were two of the less crude sayings. I don’t know that these things are still said by young boys, but I bet something like them is current. No one ever said something like ‘Be gentle’ or ‘Foreplay is fun.’ It took experience with good partners to learn about making love, and a lot of people never find those good partners. I’m sure you can tell me what young girls say, but I don’t suppose they are much better than the boys.
I don’t expect a school would teach a proper way to have sex, but possibly a basic way would be taught, for learning purposes.i don’t pretend to have all the answers, I have always been an idea guy, but I seriously think something has to be done for the betterment of society. Definitely for the betterment of women. Most guys know nothing about intimacy until a woman teaches them.
Thank you for being able to talk about your “friend.” I would have to think he wss a mild sociopath if he could go around raping women, expecting he could make them enjoy it. I hope he ended either in a psychiatrist’s office or in jail, people do not need friends like him.
Rape is about power, definitely, but it is also about revenge, and a lot of other things. I don’t expect sex schools to wipe out sex crimes, but I sincerely believe it would decrease them substantially. And it is exactly because “the sexual violation never goes away, because [victims] are stripped bare of all … protections at the whim of someone else” that we need to try something completely different. As I said in my post, sex schools will not be the ultimate solution, but can be “one” solution.
Schools can alter these experiences in my mind, though I could be wrong. Sex is such a taboo subject, even though it is increasingly displayed in the entertainment media. That increase comes without background, or explanation. Adults understand it (though it might make some more envious than others), but younger people do not. What they see are people jumping into bed with all kinds of partners, and kids emulate what they see on TV and in the movies. And most parents are afraid to talk with them about what they are seeing, if they even think that this needs talking about.
Our society is screwed up in a helluva lot of ways. If we don’t start repairing it, things will only get worse. Someone has to start the ball rolling, and even though I have very few followers, if I can get people thinking and talking about solutions, I will be happy. Being silent is being part of the problem…
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I agree with you about the silence being part of the problem. Such “secrecy” comes with a whole host of consequences, ranging from misinformation to outright oppression. More education and discussion are critical. I applaud your efforts in this arena.
Unfortunately, I believe our society’s sex problems are only a symptom of much deeper ills, in the same way a couple’s sex life will often reflect deeper troubles in their relationship. The grip of patriarchy in religion, politics, business and education (not to mention family dynamics) prevents change, as patriarchy is so much about control, especially through intimidation.
In the meantime, please keep up the excellent effort. Every attempt counts, every chip in the wall weakens it, every fault line exposed shows us a possible in; eventually it may collapse under its own weight.
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And reading about the problem, and other possible solutions, on others’ blogs would help keep the conversation going…
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Not sure I totally support your thinking …
I do feel more (detailed) sex education in schools would be a good thing, but I can pretty much guarantee you would never get the support of fundamentalist parents! And when I say “detailed,” I’m not referencing the act itself, the bodily parts, or the foreplay. I would be thinking more of teaching kids how to recognize “unwelcome” sex and what to do about it.
Teenagers would be difficult to teach. They’re so “horny” at that age, most of it would be drowned out by their giggles. However, if the instructor used a more “analytical” approach, perhaps some good would come of it.
Interesting idea, in any case.
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Thanks, Nan. I know there are a lot of drawbacks, but I think something has to be done. Church is an absolute wrong place to do it, but I don ‘t think regular schools are any better for anything but the bare basics. Because sex is common to all people, no matter what their beliefs or social class, race or nationality, that is why I think seperate schools are needed. Lessons could be presented as bias-free as possible, so that everyone could benefit. As I said elsewhere, this idea needs work to flesh it out, but we need to start somewhere.
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When you use the term ‘separate schools’ do you mean … segregated – based on religious practice, or single sex or single education classes in an otherwise coed environment? Either way, this isn’t going to happen in either the US or Canada any time soon. Many reasons, primarily religious, then the taboos, the traditions, but mainly most of this world is composed of wildly sexually immature beings who have absolutely no intention of changing that aspect of themselves, it’s such an immense drama and entertainment provider. Under current knowledge even your best teachers wouldn’t have a clue where to start and no matter how they approached the subject you can be certain that within a few years, if that, they would be drummed out of the teaching profession under clouds of innuendoes to do with their sexuality, of course. … My opinion. No matter what is done at the “academic” professional level when it comes to sex people will do what people do. You don’t stand in front of that steam roller, all you can do is pick up the pieces, as in Pakistan where they just hanged a child rapist and murderer. When the adults in the room take actual rape, torture and murder as more than a joking matter, perhaps something can be done to prevent the damage. First you’ll have to find those adults and bring them in the room then give them the freedom and power needed to make real change. The final words on this are, first bring about a just society, then talk about problems caused by injustice, where an age group or a gender or a social strata dictates the kind of life one can expect to have by comparison to someone in a different category.
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So I’m a dreamer, S’T, I admit it. But where would the world be without dreamers. Shutting dreamers down does nobody any good. Helping dreamers to define the problem and creating conversations where solutions can be brainstormed is the way to go towards ending the problem, or at least cutting it down a rung or two. Denying that a thing can be done is worthless, in my mind.
Meanwhile, when I say seperate xchools, I am merely suggesting not doing this in day schools, pmeaning government run or privately run schools that teach grades K to 12 or 13, depending on the jurisdiction. Those are good for some things, but not for others. But you don’t like my ideas of sex schools, no problem. How would you use compassion to prevent people from being permanently and psychicly harmed from rape and sexual abuse. Put your mind to it, and blog about it. Spread the conversation. It can only get worse if nothing is done about it, and the longer it takes, the more victims sex crimes are going to claim. You say you are an avatar of compassion, show me. Give me some encoura9gement instead of trying to discourage me. It takes me no courage to try to do something about sex crimes, so you cannot discourage me from trying. But I can try to encourage you to find the courage to try. Are you up to it?
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OK, fair enough. Let me think about this from a different angle than I was using. Sex and sexual misuse and violence is an issue I’ve dealt with all my life, like so many and at 72 years of age I’ve reached a point of saturation about all of it. Unlike “most” (or so it seems) I don’t take an automatic position on the matter. Women/females consist of over 50% of the population thus from a logic/numbers point of view if the situation was as terrible as it is made out to be, mostly by people with anti-religious and political agendas, women could quite naturally DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE, POSITIVE AND POWERFUL about it. Women have the power, right now, to change society. That they choose not to use it indicates to me that whatever efforts I put into it is basically whistling Dixie. I was a feminist in high school, rawgod, (the big issue then was equal pay for equal work) and continued on through everything, linking the empowerment of women directly with a working, political, environmental and social outreach “career” as I passed through (haunted might be a better description) the various power sectors of my society, managing, doing what needs doing, learning when to hold, when to fold, when to walk away. If I were given carte blanche to teach “sex” to girls, I would never mention sex, I’d speak of self empowerment and I would have them work on defining the concept of love as it relates to expressing life as a compassionate being. Maybe I’m tired; maybe I’m jaded, I suppose it happens to every warhorse. I’ll certainly be thinking about coming up with some “new and improved” approach to this problem-heck,when have I done anything else? Got to give you massive credit though, for tackling this elephant in the room neither most men nor most women want to admit exists – because TO DO SO WOULD MEAN COMPLETELY CHANGING SOCIETY. We don’t mind fiddling, we just don’t want change.
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Simplest thing I can say, change is necessary. Thank you.
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Change is necessary. The question would be, how deep are we willing to go to implement lasting change? How much of the traditional; the beliefs; the tried and failed civilization are we willing to turf to arrive at a real solution? If it was up to yourself, Lisa and possibly myself, I think we could do it, but there’s those billions our there who accept; don’t care or think a bit of tinkering here and there will do it. At least we can observe, garner information for the next time around and comment whenever. But real, practical change, methinks, will only follow a mutation. That’s what I’m banking on.
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I do not like banking on the future, despite the fact I firmly believe change will be coming. But I doubt it will happen on its own. Someone has to start it, and I am not afraid to be one who tries. If you are banking on a mutation, that’s okay, I can try this on my own. I don’t have many WordPress followers, but maybe one of them will pick up the gauntlet and run with it. I don’t expect much support, not at this stage. Maybe the best I can do is leave a message for the future. If that is so, at least I will know I have tried. Take care, my friend, you have your own battles to fight. I wish you luck with them, and if I can help I will…
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Sex education begins at home. The parents ignorance and prejudices are what negatively impact a child’s feelings of who they are and their self respect. Respect for self and others is paramount, which sadly seems to be in short supply. The idea of sin is the basis of the negativity and lack of understanding of the human condition. GROG
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What good is it to say, sex education begins at home, if the outcomes for that are as miserable as they have been for the past few millenia. Respect for self and others is undoubtably paramount, but look at any group of children. I am only offering these numbers as examples, not as written in stone, but 25% are bullies, 50% live in fear of bullies, 24% are followers of bullies, and maybe 1% are strong enough to exist on their own in any group or combination of groups. Those types of numbers have to change soon, if not right now, or last week! Nuclear families have been around since before humans became sapient, and where has it got us? IT IS TIME TO TRY SOMETHING NEW! You don’t like my way? Give me something else to cheer for. I’m not saying I have all the answers, just something different to try.
We need something different to try…
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I’m not going to claim that you agree with me, but I think we have a very similar vision of a whole new paradigm for Earthianity, one that must evolve itself out of the ruins of the current patriarchal and dead-ended civilization. Oh, there will be a lot of tweaking, and lot of hanging on out of fear of the unknown, but a whole new ‘thing’ is in the offing, even if that ‘offing’ is nowhere near our immediate future. For the time being, I offer this little company of bloggers the one thing that has caught my heart and mind as our way through the incredibly difficult times we are (or those living) will have to endure as civilization plummets and collapses world wide and that would be of course compassion. Because of the fact that everything that matters today is interconnected technologically, when one part crumbles it will signify the end of the rest and current forces of corporate exploitation aided and abetted by various kinds of armed forces have already caused the beginning of the implosion in many failed states and threatened failed states. “Mene, mene, tekel upharsin…” or, time to read the writing on the wall – it isn’t just graffiti. Our ways have been weighed and found wanting. Tonight, our lives are forfeit… Systematically insisting on making bad choices can only have but one result: bad consequences. (My take).
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You say, “What good is it to say, sex education begins at home, if the outcomes for that are as miserable as they have been for the past few millenia.”
That is the whole point, teach them so things do change, and begin well before they get to primary school. In order to do this, the parents need education first. And, it is not about sex as such, it is about respect. Children learn about life by how they are treated by their parents, how the parents treat each other, and what parents tell them. In my day parents never told their kids anything about sex. Early child development is a very interesting subject. How we interact with others is a direct result of what we learn in those early years. And that God I want to get rid of has a lot to do with the present situation. Good news, another State has just outlawed FGM. GROG
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Sort of in keeping with this topic how about simply showing kids movies of how wild animals teach their own kids about sex. Particularly apes maybe?
What’s FGM?
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Sex movies doesn’t quite fill the bill, especially for the young. I’m a country boy and watching horses and cows and pigs do it is really not all that informative. FGM It is the Islamic surgery of female genital mutilation. They cut the clitoris partially or completely off. It think it is now illegal in about 28 States. Many girls die every year , either from bleeding to death or dying of infection. GROG
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Such movies might teach reproduction, they would not teach sex or love. Sex is an exercise (with possible repurcussions). Love is an expression of feeling (again with possible repurcussions). Both should be done with respect.
FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION is one of the orst possible crimes of patriarchy ever devised!
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Why use a euphemism, call it what it is, FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION. Say it loud and say it clear. Shove it in people’s faces. FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION!!!
I’m really sorry, but your dèlivery system (parents) sucks bigtime. By the time you manage to educate parents on how to bring up “their” children another millenia will have past, and the world cannot wait that long for a change to be made. Look at the 40% of Americans who support Trumpmandias. That means 40% of American children are being brought up to hate non-christian non-whites (or any combinàtion thereof). That is a huge number! And that is just part of the opposition. Religions of all varities teach sex is dirty. I’m surprìsed they even have children…
No, I firmly believe something new has to be tried, somegthing drasticly different. Or we can go on failing to learn from history…
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Obviously I was writing tongue in cheek there although it isn’t a laughing matter. If I were to mention how sex ed is done on sexually mature human worlds, it should come as no surprise that parents and children interact naturally, naked in their homes and also in public, making love is done openly, children can watch of course and participate by staying close to their copulating parents or older siblings until they feel old enough to do it on their own. Of course on sexually mature human worlds there is no rape; no one is ever coerced into having or giving sex and children are sacred so no harm ever could come to them. Of course that is on properly evolved, moral, mature worlds. Good luck with that here.
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Word Press sometimes (often?) screws up the order of who comments are sent to. That one was not aimed at you. But that does not matter. As long as religions survive on this Earth, sex will not be as beautiful as it should be, even if only for practice, or exercise. Humanity has a long way to go, and so many things yet to learn…
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rawgod, There is a lot being done to inform people about parenting. Maybe you, like so many of us, are GWC. that is what Peter Gerlach call us, grown wounded children. Check him out on Youtube. Also, Gabor Mate, a Canadian doctor. Childhood trauma is a real thing and when parents don’t handle it well, there are problems in the offing. It has helped me understand why I am the way I am. Cheers and GROGalot.
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Without looking at the video, but just seeing the meaning of GWC, I concede to being a grown wounded child. But that is not a box I choose to live in. I let it inform me, but I do not let it control me. I look at reaity, that which is around me, and I look behind the social curtains that try to hide the truth from discovery. I ask why, and I am not satisfied with how other people answer that question.
So I will ask you, why do you think you are the way you are, and is it necessary to be the way you are? Why not be who you want to be, who you choose to be? Who would you be, if you were not who you are?
I asked myself those questions years and years ago, and because I was not the person I would have chosen to be, I created myself anew as the person I wanted to be. It was the greatest thing I ever did in my life. I acknowledge my past, but my past does not define my present, or my future. Just like my ego does not define my life, my spirit does. (Do not think “soul,” I do not have a soul. But I do have a spirit, and that spirit is life!)
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I agree kids need to know the facts of life! Kids can handle far more than we think and need to be able to handle the real world! I suggest teaching sex in a science class in the context of many different species alongside other modes of reproduction. Then later, teach the social issues around it later on. If you shield your kids, it will become the forbidden fruit and it’s dangerous not to know about assault, when someone’s taking advantage, grooming etc… I knew about sexual assault since I was at least 12, and sex in general in grade school. I’m so grateful my parents taught me about it and never shielded me from the facts of life. My only concern is if the school teaches a bias in a gray area best left for families to decide what values they want to teach, such as the right time for sex, which for me personally, is within marriage. After all, God may not be real, but STD’s and creeps are ;)
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Granted, STDs (why aren’t you calling them venereal diseases, the old name for them, lol) and creeps are everywhere, but I really do not see this as a family property. Such values should not be up to parents to force upon their children–parents do not own their children, they only have temporary custody. They have no right to improperly prepare children for the world at large, not even in sexual matters. Some parents, from the sound of it your parents, and including you (if you are a parent), do less harm than others, but I have never met a parent yet who has a truly unbiased, healthy attitude toward sex. Even I do not claim to know what that is. But all our “tried and true” methods over the last hundred thousand years have not worked, and need some serious changes. Sexual crimes are some of our most harmful crimes rampant today, along with gun crimes, yet we keep on doing things the same old way. Why are 95% of creeps guys? Because we are told to go sow our wild oats, and there aren’t always willing fields to allow us to do that. On the other hand (if you will excuse this part of my argument as being for argument’s sake) we teach our daughters to save sex for marriage, this creating a horribly confusing and conflicting situation for our young and hormone-driven teenagers. I will never forget that time of my life, trying my damnedest to respect my girlfriends while trying to deal with raging feelings and emotions. Right there is one of the reasons for so many teenage rapes, and teenage pregnancies. Even worse, once virginity is gone, there is little reason for a girl to hold back her hormones, and the next thing you know she is labelled as easy, or worse. No, this is the craziest system we could ever have come up with, yet we did it.
And those girls who manage to get through that phase of life unscathed–“intact”–do not always make good choices about love and marriage. Nor do guys. How many broken homes and divorces are caused by young adults wanting to get away from overbearing and restrictive parents? My sister did that, not to get away from a restrictive parent (our mom had died young) but from a sexually abusive father, and she ran straight into the arms of a violent, battering, sexually abusive husband whom she is still with over 50 years later because she was taught marriage vows are sacred. I cannot imagine how bad her life has been. He cut her off from our family, and there was nothing we could do to convince her to get rid of the jerk!
I cannot remember what point I was even trying to make, but I have to end this comment here. It is dredging up some horrible memories…
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I agree with a lot of what you mentioned though, about not censoring the topic, keep in mind… The concern you touched upon is minor for me compared to my want for children to be taught more hard topics in life. However, addressing that, I do agree that parents don’t always have the best way, or one I agree with either, especially ones who would choose to censor the topic. Nor do I believe in the least in the attitude of treating kids like mindless property! My only concern, more specifically is if the parents aren’t the best source of info nor should have the authority to teach their own values, then who in your opinion should and what would give them the qualifications to decide? The government? CDC? Some international panel?
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I’m just the idea guy. As much as I would love to say I have all the answers, I don’t. But it is a subject that needs to be treated with respect while honouring the individuals involved and taking into account their emotional, mental, and hormonal states. Sex as a means to propagation is such a small part of sexual congregation, and I have some hang-ups of my own that should never be mentioned to impressionable youths. (Nothing dirty or weird, just personal.)
But how much nicer this world would be if sex education was handled openly and intelligently. There does not have to be anything wrong with casual sex or exploratory sex, as long as proper protection against pregnancy or disease is practised, and an honest debriefing session follows: what felt right and why, what felt wrong and why, what needs improvement, etc ad infinitum. And with religious commentary only if asked for.
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Oh, and I sent you an e-mail to say hi…. Feel free to reach out to me anytime!
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Thank you.
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I don’t want schools teaching only my opinion either… Maybe take a middle ground and do pros and cons of sex before vs. waiting until marriage or a stable relationship. But not just preaching one or the other! I just mentioned that as my own personal choice for myself and what I’d encourage my kids to choose of their own free will by telling them why I made my choice… My parents love me unconditionally and I would my children…
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Noted, and agreed.
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Maybe we do need sex schools. Where I live sex education is almost nonexistent.
I totally agree that what most people are being taught about sex is wrong.
In Christianity, there’s a terrible propensity to make sex itself seem bad. I wrote a post on that a little while ago.
It’s a complicated issue.
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Thanks for the feedback. Sex is not an easy subject to discuss, for anyone. But why not? It is an important human function, and I’m sure everyone wants to be good at it, if only for their partners, if not for themselves. But being good takes lots of practise, as well as understanding your own body, as well as the other person’s body. If you cannot talk about your bodies, you are probably going through the motions without real satisfaction. I’m not saying a person cannot stumble across learning how to be good at sex, but that does not happen for everyone. And everyone is different.
The real job, though, is overcoming our Puritan teachings, and our street-dumb introductions to sex. Everyone does it. Let’s all do it right.
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This would be a very good thing. Here in Australia many teens I know are getting really weird ideas about what sexual practices are ok by watching porn online. So many girls think they have to give into any male fantasy – no matter if it’s painful or perverse. It makes me so sad to hear them talk of their fears and/or their ideas that they have to make their bodies look like porn star bodies through excessive dieting and, all too often, plastic surgery.
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Thank you, and I know you are right. Women have to know their limits of what they are willing to do, and so do men. When pain is involved things have gone too far. That goes for mental pain as well as physical.
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If I remember right, it was around 4th grade when they began teaching about anatomy and sex. I don’t remember them mentioning anything at all about sexual predators but I think there needs to be more emphasis on awareness of predators and the importance of telling a trusted person like a teacher or counselor if something happens, no matter what the abuser tells them. Perhaps later in high school or college there can be optional classes that dive deeper into sex matters. My mother was always fine to talk to about these matters but my dad, forget it. I remember watching a movie with them as a youngster and hearing the word “scrotum.” I asked them what it was and my dad got up and walked out of the room, stone-faced. My mom laughed and told me what it was.
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Cute story. I have no children. Cannot truly say what I would have done. Hopefully not what your father did. Parents can be such screw-ups.
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The old aphorism, knowledge is power, is especially presentient when it comes to sex and sexuality. Our culture’s puritanical warping of sexual behavior happens in large part due to ignorant, shameful indoctrination by manipulative people. Practical, fact-based education is a preventative for many sex-related problems in society.
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Last time I said something like that I had it shoved down my throat. But it is true, or at least it should be. People allow thrmselves to be offended without ever thimking it through first. Another human foible.
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And thanks again for taiking me back into my past, Swabby. I think this post started snother good discussion, though it was not an easy one. I wonder how it would go over today, with the banning of even more books than ever, with all the opposition to abortion, and the dangerous rise in Evangelst Christianity. We are moving backwards as a society, even though individual people are moving forward in their understanding of what it means to improve themselves. People are fighting harder to hold onto a past they are told was great, but really was full of suffering.
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The pandora’s box of theocracy has been reopened and will probably spew its toxins for a considerable amount of time. However, the momentum of progress will eventually surpass the stale fiction of so-called traditional values. Most people do not tolerate regression for very long.
J
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But do we have enough time to wait forbthings to “just happen.” Some government bureau announced yesterday that Moday, July 3rd, 2023, was the hottest day on record — worodeide — since people started recording temperatures around the world.. we have gone past the 1.5° average temperature rise scientists have told us we cannot exceed. The Antarctic iceflows aabd glaciers are melting faster than expected, thus raising sea level in the process. Mother nature is sngry. Alberta j6st had a tornado thst was two kilometres wide when it touched down, and it stayed down for over twenty minutes. That is unheard of in our area.
We don’t have as much time ss we pretend to think we do. We need change now, in all sorts of areas, or there will be no future.
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You just shifted gears to the environment—that’s a subject that more people understand is real, but is a different kettle of fish.
J
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Maybe. In my world it is all interconnected. This is now “I” approach life, and the world.
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