I am presently going through an unexpected and good interruption in my blog life. I chanced upon a natural food supplement product with amazing abilities, and it made such a difference in my life I became a distribution agent for it in my area of the world. I started a one-man business operation. And doing that was much more involved than I thought. I haven’t hardly had any time for myself lately, and hopefully I will soon have time to get other things attended to, such as this blog.
The worst part, as my blog goes, is that I was simultaneously writing about two different seemingly unrelated topics, one being answering a blog that was in favour of capital punishment, at least at times, which I was countering with my belief that the prison system is just spiteful revenge with no real attempt at bring lost spirits back into the human herd, including why I thought that way, and how I would remedy the situation, which I have given you the name “Restorative Justice” (RJ) but not said anything, I don’t think, as to how and why RJ is the better choice. RJ is the process Aboriginal North Americans, at the very least, dealt with their people who did not work for the benefit of the nations and its citizens (before Europeans came and screwed up their entire culture.) And in the middle of writing on that topic, I found my resolve was wavering on my understanding of the concept of reincarnation. It was mandatory for me to switch to the more spiritual topic.
I am NOT changing my belief that reincarnation is real, just only as to how the process happens. My blog page on Experimenting with Reincarnation still stands as far as what happens to the spirit inside a person’s body upon death, but I am now questioning if it is logical and if it explains the differences in character between most human beings, and for that matter, most mammalian beings. The story of my cat Loki tells me that genius is NOT just a human thing, and it was very much an honour to have been allowed to live with him. On the other hand was my feline friend Freebee, who chose me over his original person, and moved in with me by his own choice. He trusted me with his life, and it was a good life for many years, but when I decided to move from Winnipeg to “some other place,” (a destination I never thought about, it was just time to get out of where I was,) I could not find a new home for him, so took him to the humane society thinking they would be able to find him a new home to live out his last years in. But the instant he entered the Shelter building, he knew he hated it there, but I did not know what else I could do for him. I left him there anyway, and as I was about to open the outside door I saw a small sign on the back of the door that would not be seen as a person entered: Non-compliant animals will be euthanized.
Hearing the commotion going on in the room where I had left Freebee told me that with at least the person’s care that I left him in, he was being non-compliant. Did they have to euthanize him? I’ll never know, but because I could not afford to take him with me, I still left him there, knowing his probable fate. Thirty years later I still suffer for what probably happened to him, knowing after I read the sign he would likely be dead within the hour, and the tears rolling down my cheeks as I drove away were not enough to cleanse my heart of having murdered a dear friend. Who did the actual act I don’t know, but it was me who deserted a friend who loved me more than life itself, and he deserved a better end. Those tears I cried that day are once again being released, still trying to assuage my betrayal and guilt that I have endured ever since.
Though this story is completely unrelated to anything about reincarnation, I needed to tell it, because it shows how heartless I can be. Even though I didn’t know where I was going, it wasn’t a definite thing that Freebee could have still found a life with me. In future years I have had other feline friends, having six of them right now, but anything I do for them can never make up for what I did to Freebee. How could I have been so cruel?????
Now my dirty laundry has been aired once more, and if you want to hate me for what I did, sobeit. I take full responsibility for his murder. And that comes not just from my ego, it comes from the deepest part of my spirit where I believe every life should be allowed to live to its natural end. And maybe this is related after all, to my feelings about the prison system, and especially capital punishment. I am generally a man without a conscience except the one I created for myself. It is a variation on the Golden Rule we are all taught as children, but I have changed it in a way that gives it more depth, and therefore, I think, more value. But on that day I left Winnipeg, I put it aside for my ego’s comfort, I thought. It turned out my spirit definitely overrules my ego on this matter, and my ego hurt my spirit to its core. I leave you with this thought:
I WILL NOT WILLINGLY ALLOW MYSELF DO UNTO ANY BEING THAT WHICH I WOULD NOT WILLINGLY ALLOW ANY BEING TO DO UNTO ME.
Freebee, please forgive for that which I willingly did unto you.