Dears friends and fellow living beings,

For months now (actually years, but who is counting?) I have been struggling with the question, What is life? and I seem to be no closer to the answer now than when I first started my search. My work has not all been in vain, I hope, but most everything I have written lately has not been worth publishing. I have page upon page of notes and ideas, all of which seem to end in the virtual wastebasket. But, and I hope you agree with me, there seems to be more to life than just biological processes. Biology is all well and good, but how many of you out there believe without qsuestion that life has no purpose? I know that every fibre of my being cries out for life to have purpose. Why else would we put up with the seeming vagaries of life as to where we were born, what race we were born into, what sex, what gender, rich or poor, theist or atheist, etc ad infinitum? Why else should we bother to live?

It is my firm belief life has purpose, and since we have purpose, there is more to life than biology. I might be wrong, I don’t know. Why else am I struggling with my above question? Jim, the common atheist, is examining the biology of life on his Word Press blog. Does he believe in only biological life? I don’t want to ask him, it could screw up his questioning. Sha’Tara, ~the burning woman~, is also writing about life, from a more metaphysical viewpoint, I guess one might call it, although I am not sure how proper that would be. Aishwariya Ramachandran has been worrying about “how we make sense of the world,” amongst other things. I am sure there are many others throughout the world and on the internet who are asking something quite similar, looking for an answer even as am I. In fact, probably since the first being to realize he, she, it could think, this question has been plaguing almost all living beings. And I am, I am sure, a living being.

My original question, back in the 1960s, was: Who am I? In the intervening years I think I have given myself an answer I can live with. I am a living being, capable of knowing what I want to accomplish in this life, and  hopefully with the skills to do that. I run my own life, as much as anyone can. I make my choices based on how I want to live, not on how others want me to live, unless I willfully give them the power to make my choices with me, or for me. I am whoever I want myself to be. And I do what I want to do. AS LONG AS I DO NOT INTENTIONALLY HURT OR OTHERWISE INJURE another living being.

But on top of all that, I want to discover what my life’s purpose is, and what life really is (I believe the two go hand-in-hand). Actually, I must confess: I am lying. I already know what I “believe to be my purpose.” And I also already know what I “believe life is.” But on both counts, what I believe is not believable to most others, so I have mostly stopped telling people, unless they show true interest. Many people say they want to know what life is all about, but knowing is meaningless unless a person is willing to commit themselves to act in a purposeful manner. And if you believe that…

I guess what I am really looking for now is proof that I am right. The trouble with that is, besides the English language that doesn’t really have the definitive words available, that kind of truth is not available here on earth, or anywhere in the physical universe. So Catch 22,222,222: To truly know life, one has to first know death.

Question: Do you believe in reincarnation? This was one of the questions I had to deal with once I escaped from my christian upbringing? But my very first answer took me back to the possibility of heaven. How so? As a child I was surrounded by sinners, even though they said they believed in god. Given I was only looking at the ten commandments, but 0Monday through Saturday adults spent sinning, and on Sundays they pretended to be so pious. Worst of all, most of them believed they would be ascending to heaven after their deaths. None of this, obviously, made any sense to the child I was. So I tried my damnedest to be free of sin. But the older I got, the harder it was to not sin. Possibly, left to my own devices (like if I had had no friends at all) I may not have sinned, so ingrained was the knowledge sinning led not to heaven, but to hell. This was a horrible belief to lay on a gullible little kid. But I had friends, and to keep them I had to sin, everyone was doing it one way or another. It was also about this time I learned that if I told my parents the truth about something, I got backhanded across the face; but if I lied, it was my parents who were the gullible ones, they believed the stories I was telling them. Okay, so I was a liar and a sinner, no way I was going to heaven. But what if: maybe we had more lives to live, practice lives, so we could learn how to get things right? So I made up my own little story for myself: This life was just a practice life.

Imagine my relief when I started looking into buddhism–all lives were practice lives of sorts, called reincarnations, and once you got it all right you achieved nirvana, whatever that was. Sounded kind of like heaven to me. Ànd despite my movement away from christianity, I momentarily returned to a belief in god.

The god belief has now gone forever, but reincarnation still fits me like a rubber glove. IMO, no one can learn everything there is to learn about life in one go-round. Nobody! But given enough incarnations, everyone can learn everything needed to become a perfect being! Only, evolution shows we are all descendants of 4 billion years-ago one-celled beings. With enough incarnations, through enough different species of living beings, we can start as absolute know-nothings, and progress into know-somethings. This is the true meaning of reincarnation, IMO.

And once you know something, you can go on to different planes of existence to know more. And this is where I shall end this post.

‘Nuff said. For now…

Author: rawgod

A man with a lot of strange experiences in my life. Haven't traveled that much per se, but have lived in a lot of different areas. English is the only language I have mastered, and the older I get, the more of it lose. Seniorhood gives me more time to self-reflect, but since time seems to go much faster, it feels like I don't have as much time for living as my younger selves did. I believe in spiritual atheism and responsible anarchy. These do not have to be oxymorons. Imagination is an incredible tool.

5 thoughts on “MORE THOUGHTS ON LIFE”

  1. Love your inquisitive nature and honesty. It has been thought provoking and warm. First of all this is all IMO based on my own observation. You said “once I escaped from my christian upbringing” Ha!! The most likely reason you have this undying search for life’s purpose. Had we not been “trained up in our youth” I doubt either one of us would be here right now. We have differing attitudes but the childhood lingers with doubt and wonder of our existence. The only animal crazy enough to wonder and worry why we’re here. We can turn anything to meaning! Who does that? If I had to choose to save my life I would choose reincarnation as well. The science is plausible and there is some evidence for it. I call out the fallacy and contradiction of religion as a side job and for fun. Other than that I don’t give it much thought. 50 years in the church and I effectively turned it off. When I burned all my religious belongings and books I began to live and love for the first time. I live the fullest because this may be all I’ve got. If there is more out there I still will have no regrets. My passion for science and anatomy, as well as my interests in practicality and simplicity gives me plenty of reason to not believe in gods or LIFE by my own observations. I like reincarnation because it’s cool, but I have no dog in the fight right now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your honesty, Jim. As you say, you have no dog in the fight right now, and if you are happy this way, all power to you. Just wondering how old you are, just to get a picture of what might still be in front of you.
      Meanwhile, one statement above I must, as usual, disagree with: The only animal crazy enough to wonder and worry why we are here. We do not know that. Our human-centric view of the world loves to build us up, and deny other species anything that might make them our equals, or, dare I think it, superior to us. Until we learn how to communicate with others, we can make no absolute statements about them, or us.
      So, keep on keeping on, Jim. You may have lots of time enjoy it, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am 55 currently, but as you infer in your reincarnate ways I may be as old as the universe itself. Having lived with indigenous peoples for several years in Panama, in amazed me how much they allowed natural death. Americans spend the most money on their last illness, but those “uncivilized” allow death to come. They do mourn and miss, but they are not preoccupied with it. That is in part to my comment about other animals. I had to put down a horse one time. The other horses stood there and continued eating. I know other types miss their kin, but I don’t believe they fear for them based on a belief system, and wonder if they made it to glory or hell. That is all.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi rawgod. Most of the questions you tackle here are yours, of course. Most I have answered for myself and to my current satisfaction. My current quests have nothing to do with questions about god(s), spirituality, life or where we may come from, but rather on how to fulfil the requirements of my chosen purpose, i.e. how to live as purpose. I’m 71 now and I am fully aware that this life was meant to constitute a giant step in cosmic awareness, like a compression point or entrance to a black hole, into another dimension altogether. Soon enough now. I don’t hold to the theory of evolution but I understand, as you do, that we grow in understanding through our “past” lives, the more remembered, the more we know and the more self empowerment makes sense. Hope you find your answers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL. It is not the answers so much that I am seeking, though I present it as if I am. Reality is I am searching for the words to state those answers, and English is not a good language to use, though it is the only one I know.

      Liked by 2 people

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