Learning How to be Unsane

But enough about obstacles. I have told you what the major obstacles are, but I now need you to discover the rest on your own. The thing is, I really don’t want to tell you anything at all, my only purpose in writing this work is to have it act as a guide, not to act as a How to Change manual. I want it to be more of a “This is My Experiencework that you might be able to use to help you through the changes you are about to go through. This is definitely NOT a Bible for Change.

You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him or her drink!

Probably at some point in your life you have heard the above adage or saying, or one similar to it. I want to take this moment to remind you, no one led you to this work (unless someone connected to you in some way suggested you come, but that certainly was not me), you basically led yourself here. But even so, however you got here, no one, including me, can make you read what is here, or force you to use anything you read here. This change, if you decide to go through with it, is wholly up to you, and how that change happens for you is completely and absolutely up to you.

Just a short while back I suggested authority figures will be an obstacle against making this change. I even suggested to you that God, being the Ultimate Authority Figure, would be an obstacle. Now I need to change that statement. Since you are still reading this, and didn’t stop reading it when I wrote the above piece on obstacles, I know now that you are serious about making a change, or at least seriously contemplating making a change. So, if you believe in God, and find that after you make the change you still believe in God, I’m not going to tell you that you are wrong. I may not have said this in so many words before this, but as you go through this change, you may find you believe things inside yourself that did not originate inside you. That does not mean they are wrong. Some people actually know what they are talking about. And here is the point I tell you that while the concept of God, or any supreme being or force, does not work for me, it is up to you to decide what does or doesn’t work for you. Only you can know what works for you. No one, absolutely no one, has the right to tell you that you are wrong about anything.

Somewhere in the course of reading this work, you probably also asked yourself, “If this change is so hard to make, and so potentially life-changing, why should I bother trying to make it? Do not let me answer that for you. My opinion is that if you (the horse) are here (at the water), and looking for help (wanting to quench your thirst), why not drink? That is the simple response, but does it help you decide to drink? I hope it isn’t that simple for you, although if you are ready it might be. But if you still aren’t sure, what is it that you might decide to not make the change that keeps you from doing it? First question: Is the water safe to drink, and am I being truthful when I say I believe it is? My response is: I have absolutely no vested interest in what you decide to do. I am not asking you for money, so I don’t want to steal from you. I am not asking you to become a follower, a cult member, or anything like that, so I don’t want to force you into anything. I am not asking you to do anything at all that you don’t decide to do on your own. In fact, I really only want to help you do this if you decide to do this for yourself. There is no should here, or no must. This is totally up to you. And to take that idea one step farther, I don’t want to tell you or anyone why to change or what to change into. My only role in this whole process, if you will allow me to change the allegory, is to be the midwife as you give birth to the new you. There is nothing else I can or want to do. On the off chance that there is a second question, I would prefer you ask it either in a comment, or directly to me (gewcolo@gmail.com) if you prefer privacy.

Here, I think, is a good time to back up a little in this work. Another question you are probably asking in some shape or form is: What has all this to do with all living beings? Everything I have said so far pertains to human beings, to people, and no one can read this but people. And you have hit the nail directly on the head with a huge hammer. I mentioned above that there are trillions of billions of millions of living beings on this planet alone, what about them? Most of them can’t think, or read, or write, or even know. They aren’t even aware they are alive… Are they?

Have you ever asked an ant if it is aware of its own existence? Absurd. There is no way for an amoeba to know it is alive. Or even a _______? I’ll let you fill in the blank. I am not going to insult your intelligence by saying I talk with bugs, or plants, or most animals. But neither am I going to insult their intelligence, or whatever it is that they use to direct their daily lives. I have no illusion that I am a member of the most intelligent species of beings in existence. Because I do not know how to communicate with a living being does not mean it does not communicate with itself, or others of its kind. My basis for this belief is a simple one, all of us are alive. All of us share this wondrous thing called life. And there is no reason for me to believe I am special, or people are special. Or to put that another way, I believe every living being is special, because every living being has life.

If I had my druthers, I would have called this philosophy A Philosophy of Life, but that name is already taken. I wracked my brain to come up with a name that could describe what I feel inside of me, and communicate that feeling to you, or anyone else capable of using this method of communication. Nothing fit, until one day I woke up with the name on the tip of my lips, A Philosophy for All Living Beings. Where it came from, I cannot tell you. I assume it came from my dream mind, or my subconcious mind, or maybe my unsane mind, but it really doesn’t matter where it came from. It works for me, and as far as I know, no one has ever used it before.

So, to quickly describe why I think this philosophy works for all living beings, it is because most living beings already know who they are, and how to live their lives. It might not seem thus to us, but we have no way of knowing what being a different species of life feels like to that particular species of life, or that any being within any species feels about being a living being. I wrote a verse of poetry one day, which seems to be very appropriate here. In the about to be quoted verse, I was writing about dinosaurs:

their brains were the size of peas

we are told

but the size of the brain

does not reflect

the expanse of the mind

(The entire poem can be read at https://rawgod.tripod.com/RealAdvice/id3.htm if you are interested. Look to the left side of the page. Please copy and paste if link does not work. )

This also refers to humans. No one knows what we are truly capable of. But for this work, I would like to re-write that sentence as: No one knows what you are truly capable of… At least, not yet…

So, to show you, through words, how I became unsane, you must leave this website. Go to: http://rawgod.tripod.com/4StepProgram/index.htm   (

why the hell can’t you be like other
men
she groused
bring home the bacon
rot in front of the tee vee
fuck me once in a while to keep
me happy
why the hell do you want to talk

she looked at me as if she wished
she had a rolling pin in her hand
i think she would have used it
on me

i sat immobile
cool as a cucumber
contemplating her complaint

what she really wanted
what i could never give her
was simple understanding

i had never been able to understand
her
nor could she ever understand me
it was what we shared in common

sure we were good together
there was no woman in the world i
wanted
more than her
and although she may not say
the same about me
she had few grievances against me
our life was good together
as long as i didn’t try to talk to her

really talk, i mean
not the daily bullshit
how are the kids honey
what’s for dinner dear
did you have a good day at the
office
(neither one of us worked in an office)
we could play those roles without
trying
so we stopped trying

for her that was all she wanted back
then
for me it was far from enough

i wanted to understand
who are we
why are we here
how did we get where we are
what are we supposed to be doing
here
where are we going from here
are we going anywhere from here

so i tried talking to her
sometimes over breakfast
(which we so seldom shared)
sometimes at supper
but usually late at night
after we had made love…

those were the times i thought
when we were closest to each other
when we were closest to her god
(whoever or whatever that god
might be)
there was no better time
for communicating

all she ever wanted to do
was to lie in the afterglow
and glow

that was what she did best
glowing after sex
her body still covered with a soft
sheen of sweat
her skin still alive with the blush of
passion
warmth emanating from her entire
being
joy looking out from the spirit
behind her eyes
she wanted no more than that

this saddened me
i wanted to give her everything i had
inside of me
the essence of me
but i was allowed to give her nothing
for that was all she would take

how can two people exist in such a
marriage
everything was so good
on the surface
but beneath there was no substance
no meat on the marital bones

was i wrong to want more
was she wrong to want less
than me

i divorced her you know
after i had promised to live with her
all the days of my life
i left her
not for someone new
(i don’t know that any woman could
replace her)
i left her for me
because i needed someone to talk to
in the long lonely hours
after midnight

i talk now to myself
sometimes i wish i could still talk to
her

up here in the northlands
where polar bears roam the tundra
and ptarmigan roost
i think back to the leather-winged
pterodactyls
the brontosauri
and the tyrannosauri rex
and i wonder
did thoughts like these
drive those poor fellows to extinction

their brains were the size of peas
we are told
but the size of the brain
does not reflect
the expanse of the mind

if it did i would never have left her
we could have been happy
except for my thoughts
my questions
my unending search for answers

i gaze into the cloudless sky
and i see it there above me
the pterodactyc ptarmigan
so awkwardly graceful
so powerful
yet so weak
it does not belong here

i fear that neither do i

  copy and paste if link does not work. )

There you will find an OVERVIEW of the process which I used to change myself, with an index on the right side to take you to how I actually went through the process I discovered. If you try it, I wish you luck becoming the REAL YOU! If you don’t, I hope you bookmark that page for when you decide to discover the Real You. You will decide to try, at some point. I can almost guarantee it. You’ve come this far, have you not? Why not just see if it works…

Author: rawgod

A man with a lot of strange experiences in my life. Haven't traveled that much per se, but have lived in a lot of different areas. English is the only language I have mastered, and the older I get, the more of it I lose. Seniorhood gives me more time to self-reflect, but since time seems to go much faster, it feels like I don't have as much time for living as my younger selves did. I believe in spiritual atheism and responsible anarchy. These do not have to be oxymorons. Imagination is an incredible tool. I can imagine a lot of things.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s