DOES MY VISION OF SPIRITUALITY REALLY MATTER TO ANYONE ELSE?

I am going to start by saying I do hope my vision of spirituality matters to someone besides me, but not in the way that might sound at first read.  By the end of this post you will hear me say it absolutely does not matter if my vision of spirituality matters to anyone else, so I hope I can make clear what it is I am trying to say. First, I am not talking about my exact vision of spirituality, that is pretty specialized to my own experience and understanding, but what I am talking about is the principle underlying that vision, the general outline of what it is I believe…

I was brought up to believe in christ, nation,  and money, but none of that ever really sat right in my gut, my heart, or my mind. It took a little time, a nudge from a stranger or two, and a couple of spiritual crises, but I finally realized what was so problematic for me: “nothing of what I believed came from inside of me.” None of it! Everything came from outside of me–all the authority figures in my early life told me what to believe, and that bothered me. It may not bother anyone else, but I was a bit of a loner when it came to what really mattered in life, in my life. I purposely started questioning everything I had been told to believe, to see if it agreed with what I was feeling inside of me, and what I was experiencing in my life. I’ve said it all in other places, other blogs, other websites, so I’m not going to go into it here, but for anyone interested you’ll probably find the basis for most of my beliefs at LiveReal.com. It’s actually been a while since I was very active on that site, so please don’t take anything as written in stone, but that is where I wrote down what I was finding inside me some twenty years ago.  The man I am now can definitely be seen in the person writing on LiveReal.

But I guess what I am really trying to say, if you are unsatisfied with your present belief system, no matter what it is, try doing as I did. Question absolutely everything!  And then look inside yourself to learn how to replace whatever it is you decided to throw away. Or just throw it away and not replace any of it, if that is what your gut tells you to do. Certainly please do not replace it with anything anyone else has said, especially me. But whatever you decide, please look for “your” answers inside “yourself.” Who else can you trust to be honest with you, if not your self. Inside myself is where I found my vision of spirituality. And I did not even know I was  looking for it. Yeah, I knew I was looking for something, but I had no inkling it would take me so far away from where I had begun. And that is why my spirituality means so much to me now, why no belief system from outside me can ever take hold of my mind again. This is me. What I write is me. And the possibility it comes quite close to beliefs other people hold actually has no effect on me. I’m not looking to find strength in numbers. Those people I encounter who believe similarly to me are important as friends, indeed, but I do not need anyone to reinforce my belief system for me.

So, going back to that belief system,  the vision I have of spirituality, does it really matter if it doesn’t matter to anyone else? The answer is a harsh answer, “No!”, but I cannot apologize for that. Reality for me is, what I believe is what “I” believe, the inner me, the essence of me–dare I say it, the spirit that is me. I cannot believe for anyone else, that is their (your) task or purpose in life. Even if you believe in nothing at all, that is your choice. But here the waters get muddied, because it is me wanting you to have your own beliefs. When I say, “Believe what you find in your own spirit, your essence, your inner “you!” am I not telling you what I think you should do? I am, but please believe me, I do it with the greatest concern for you, the real you. Why do I do this?  Because I want you to discover what is best for you, not what is best for me–or anyone else…

There are times I look at the world around me, and what I see are people who seem to have been brainwashed to believe they cannot think for themselves, that they are not smart enough to have their own understanding of life and any purpose life might have. Then I look at myself, and I see what I have accomplished in my life, and I think,  I’m not special compared to anyone else, so if I can do this, why can’t everyone else? Yes, I got a couple of unexpected nudges along the way, nudges that I did not understand would mean learning to believe in myself, but that ultimately came to mean exactly that. So, please do not consider what I say to be a directive, or command,  but simply a friendly nudge. And, well, maybe a whole lot of inspiration… If rawgod could do that, so can I, meaning you. And if it helps, know that I believe you can  discover your own truth for itself… For “YOURSELF,” and for your “SELF!” Above all, don’t let anyone else, including me, say to you, “You are wrong.” How can anyone be wrong, as long as their truth, your truth, is theirs,  or yours, just like my truth is MINE!

And that is why the harsh answer, “No!”, is the only answer I can give to my own question, Does it really matter if my vision of spirituality matters to anyone else? That negative answer is the most positive, life-affirming, YOU-affirming answer I know how to give. I can only hope you take it as I intend it…

 

Author: rawgod

A man with a lot of strange experiences in my life. Haven't traveled that much per se, but have lived in a lot of different areas. English is the only language I have mastered, and the older I get, the more of it lose. Seniorhood gives me more time to self-reflect, but since time seems to go much faster, it feels like I don't have as much time for living as my younger selves did. I believe in spiritual atheism and responsible anarchy. These do not have to be oxymorons. Imagination is an incredible tool.

2 thoughts on “DOES MY VISION OF SPIRITUALITY REALLY MATTER TO ANYONE ELSE?”

    1. Not really, this was the fourth post in a three part series on my meaning of spirituality…
      The plug for Livereal. com was a blatant recommendation for it, as that is where I was given the opportunity to think out loud in my more formative years. They are going through a rebuilding period, and I hoped I could send some new readers their way. Oh, that’s what you meant…

      Like

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