Coming Back for a Visit

I am writing this blog tonight totally unprepared.  I have not even thought about my neglected blog for quite some time, but today I received an email from WordPress telling me a new person was following my blog, and I had to look to see who. Notyouraverage20somethingblog turned out to be a blog by a woman named Amy, from where or what background I do not think she has said yet, other than she grew up in a small town, went away to college or university, and discovered there a whole new self. But tragedy struck in the form of a breakup with the love of her life to this point (Amy called her a soul mate, but as I do not believe in soul mates–I’ve already had more than 5 “soul mates” in my lifetime, and counting–I’ll stick to love of her life so far) and a total falling apart that took her back to her safe life in the small town where she grew up. Now she has discovered WordPress, and though I have only found two blogs written by her, I am already dying to hear more. I presume she is American, but I cannot say that with authority yet, nor does it really matter, although it might help to understand her motivations to know. The main thing is, Amy is a living being with a story to tell, and I believe she will tell it well.

But, that got me reading a bunch of my old but most recent blogs, and now I want to use my blog to welcome Amy back to the larger world of fear, away from the safety of her small world called home. And to thank her for inspiring me to write a new blog myself.

Lately, for whatever that word might mean to anyone, my writing has not been centered on any one subject, jumping around chaotically just like the way I live life. There are no boundaries to where life can take a person, and there are certainly no boundaries to where my mind can take me. I know I have left a lot of stories unfinished, but hey, how many times in life do unexpected changes happen to us that veer our course into unexpected directions, ending some sentences mid-word, and starting others without a true beginning. Life, that’s all I can call it.

Tonight Life has pointed me in yet anther direction, that of love relationships. As I said above, I have had AT LEAST 5 relationships with women I have considered soul mates, only to discover they were only “temporary” soul mates. I still love them, fondly, each and every one of them, and I am thankful for what they taught me/helped me learn. The woman I was married to is the one who taught me the most, but even that relationship ended when her capacity to teach me was exhausted. The student once again surpassed the teacher, and to stay in that relationship became stifling. We mutually agreed to end it, though I have regrets, and I assume she does too. But life moves on, and we either change to move with it, or we get bogged down in depressions physical, mental, and emotional. It has always been my nature to move with the eye of the hurricane, surrounded by a calmness, yet surrounded outside that by life-changing forces that wipe entire slates clean. After all, life has never been a “safe” proposition. Whenever life becomes too comfortable, upheavals happen to remind you (read me) that nothing is ever safe, safety begets stagnation. Change is life’s greatest teacher, and humans are life’s most capable students.

Ugh, I cannot believe I uttered such an anthropomorphic thought aloud. Humans are just one species among millions, and human intelligence is not the only kind of intelligence extant upon this world, let alone in our huge huge universe. But just like our species is very highly anthropomorphic, believing humans are the most highly evolved of all animals or other forms of life ANYWHERE, I am human, and occasionally forget that there is always someone, or some species, that is smarter or more intelligent including in ways I cannot begin to imagine. Back to where was I…

Change is Life’s greatest teacher and humans are very capable students, if they allow themselves to be. I try to always be ready to learn more new lessons in order to live a fuller life. Tonight’s lesson was just one of those.

I hate to admit it, but of late my belief has been that the 20somethings of the world are condemning this world to devolve, to move backwards instead of forward, despite the continuous forward movement evolution has been moving in since the beginning of life itself. I should have known devolution is inherently impossible (notwithstanding Trump and Kim) and it took a brash young Amy to set my mind right again despite my dotage. Thanks, Amy. I hope I can repay you somehow.

And thanks to Barbera, Brenda, Linda, Barbara, Heather, Gail, and Gail all for taking the time to love me and teach me about life and love. And if I have missed anyone, which I’m sure I have, please don’t take it personally, just blame it on my Post-Concussion Syndrome, which stole parts of my memories completely, as if they never happened. But rest assured, whatever anyone taught me is still part of me. and that means YOU are still a part of me too.


Author: rawgod

A man with a lot of strange experiences in my life. Haven't traveled that much per se, but have lived in a lot of different areas. English is the only language I have mastered, and the older I get, the more of it lose. Seniorhood gives me more time to self-reflect, but since time seems to go much faster, it feels like I don't have as much time for living as my younger selves did. I believe in spiritual atheism and responsible anarchy. These do not have to be oxymorons. Imagination is an incredible tool.

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